1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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