escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
