I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
