just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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