hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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