I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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