You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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