i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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