i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
