apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
