I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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