this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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