my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
