Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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