I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize