I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
