Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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