what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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