how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
