can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
