at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
