Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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