I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My penis needs a shock collar
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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