Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
