Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
