operation harelip BJ is a go
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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