Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize