his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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