Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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