who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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