I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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