here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
