She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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