Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
