I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
