I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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