They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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