Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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