apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
