So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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