I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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