it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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