I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
