You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize