Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
