Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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