We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
