It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
