she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
