took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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