we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
