I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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