Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
