The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
