I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
